


Choose Me (I couldn't bear anything else)

by LERDM



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Damian Wayne is a good brother, Dick Grayson is a Good Brother, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, Jason Todd is a good brother, Protective Bruce Wayne, Protective Dick Grayson, Protective Jason Todd, Tim Drake is a Good Brother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:42:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28748658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LERDM/pseuds/LERDM
Summary: When the Batfamily is captured by Gotham's latest psychotic Ph.D. candidate, they are forced to make a choice: who will die, so the rest of them can live?
Relationships: Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Jason Todd
Comments: 16
Kudos: 254





	Choose Me (I couldn't bear anything else)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this is a one-shot that I finished in a bit of a blitzkrieg of writing today, so I am sorry if there are a few errors, please let me know and I'll go back and fix them.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

“Chose,” the masked man spoke. “One of them must die. And if you cannot come to a choice, they will all die, and you will watch.”

Jason had a gun in his hand. He had no idea how he got here. In front of him, his entire family (sans Alfred and the girls) were bound to chairs.

“I… what?” Jason asked.

“I said. You will choose one of Gotham’s precious Bats and you will shoot them, or they will all die,” the man who was masked wasn’t very large, Jason eyed him before pointing the gun in his direction.

“And if I just shoot you instead?” Jason asked.

The man gestured back to the family, who now all had red dots in the middle of their foreheads. Jason lowered the gun and the dots disappeared.

“Jay,” Bruce’s gruff voice spoke. For some reason, no one reacted to the fact that they were all unmasked, and that none of them were using code-names.

“You can speak with them, but don’t even think about trying to escape,” the masked man said.

Jason approached Bruce and whispered. “B, what do I do?”

Bruce looked Jason right in the eye. “You shoot me.”

Jason stepped back and shook his head. “No. No, I’m not shooting you.”

“Jay-”

“Jason,” Tim interrupted. “You were right, I replaced you. This family doesn’t need me, because you’re back. So… finish what you started. It’s okay. I’m okay with it if it means saving everyone else and-”

“Shut up!” Jason growled. “Are you an idiot? Of course the family needs you!” Jason approached the last rational one of the bunch. “Dick? What do I do?”

“I don’t know,” Dick said. His eyes were shining. “All I know is that I would hate myself forever if I walked out of here and someone else didn’t. It would be a mercy, Little Wing.”

Jason’s eyes filled with tears of rage. “No, Dickie, there’s got to be something-”

“Todd.”

Jason turned and approached Damian. “Brat. Don’t even suggest it.”

Damian narrowed his eyes. “I’ve been killed and revived once before. What makes you think that it’s beyond the realm of possibility for it to happen again?”

Jason shook his head. “Because it almost didn’t happen. Bruce almost killed himself trying to-” Jason’s head suddenly realized the only option. “Hey, dude,” Jason addressed the masked man. “You said one Bat had to die, right?”

“Indeed I did.”

“And everyone part of your little game here is a Bat, right?” Jason asked.

Bruce understood where this was going. “Jason, don’t-”

“That is correct,” the masked man said with a tone that made everyone aware he was smirking under the mask.

Jason nodded. He turned back to his family. “I love you guys.” He pulled the trigger before he could hear them shout.

  
  
  


Dick opened his eyes and the first thing he realized was that he was holding a gun. The second thing he noticed that his family, even Jason, was all tied up in front of him.

“Chose,” a masked man spoke. “One of them must die. And if you cannot come to a choice, they will all die, and you will watch.”

Dick stared at the man. “Why are you doing this?”

“Research.” Red dots appeared on the foreheads of everyone present. “Now, chose, and pull the trigger.”

Dick’s head began to swim. He knew he could really only do one thing. That he was only capable of doing one thing. He pulled the gun up to his own head.

“Richard!” Damian’s panicked shriek made Dick pause, his finger on the trigger. “No!”

Dick lowered the gun and walked a little closer to Damian. “Dami… Little D, I… can’t do anything else. I  _ can’t _ .”

“You have to,” Damian begged. “Please, you have to do something else.”

Dick’s eyes were filled with tears.

“Big Bird,” Jason’s gruff voice spoke from beside Bruce. “Come over here, let the big kids talk for a minute.”

Dick walked over to where Jason and Bruce were sitting.

“Listen. You’re not killing yourself, so you gotta pick between me and Bruce,” Jason said bluntly. “I think you should shoot me, and I’m sure Bruce will tell you the same thing about himself. The truth, though, is that I was already dead, Dick. I shouldn’t have come back, I did, but I shouldn’t have. It was a fluke of nature. I should be dead right now, and I don’t mind. It was the most at peace I’d ever felt. And you all could get through it, I know it would be hard, but you could do it. You’ve done it before.”

Bruce was shaking. “No, no, Jason- that’s- I couldn’t, I never did. You know that.”

Jason glared at Bruce. “Shut up, old man. Don’t make this harder.”

“I’m trying to make it easier,” Bruce said. “I’m an old man, Dick. The rest of you, you’re all just kids. And if that wasn’t enough, I’m your father. The worst thing that anyone could ever do to me is make me watch as one of my children died.”

“Yeah, but B, those kids depend on you,” Jason retorted. “I… I’ve been awful, Dick. I nearly killed Tim, I shot Damian, I’m a murderer with no regrets. I deserve it, more than anyone here.”

“Stop,” Dick pleaded, tears running down his face. He turned back to the masked man. “I’ll do anything else. Anything you want. I… I can’t kill any of them.”

“Well then, I suppose I have no choice.” The red dots reappeared.

“No!” Dick shouted. “No, no, wait, okay, okay I-” he started crying in earnest. He walked over to Bruce. “I’m- I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Bruce reassured him. “I’m relieved. I… couldn’t bear any other outcome, Dick. I love all of you, and please, take care of each other.”

Tim and Damian were crying. Jason was nearly there himself. He turned his head to look at Bruce. “I’m sorry, B. For everything.”

The man smiled bittersweetly. “So am I.”

“Tick-tock, Mr. Grayson.”

Dick raised the gun to Bruce’s head. He pulled the trigger.

  
  
  


Bruce knew something was wrong, even before he opened his eyes. He was horrified at the sight before him. His  _ sons _ . All of them lined up, and he had a gun in his hand.

“Chose,” a masked man spoke. “One of them must die. And if you cannot come to a choice, they will all die, and you will watch.”

Bruce turned to him. “Who are you?” He growled.

“Who I am is inconsequential,” the man said.

“Why are you doing this?” Bruce demanded.

“Why, for academic purposes only, I assure you.” The man looked down at his watch. “If you do not choose soon, well… you know the consequences.” Red dots flashed on his son’s heads.

“Father?” Damian’s voice spoke.

Bruce took a few steps toward his youngest. “Damian. I’m going to get us out of here.”

Damian shook his head. “If you try that, you’ll get all of us killed.” The boy took a breath. “I know what happened on the night of my conception.” That was never a sentence Bruce had wanted to hear coming from Damian. “I know you were an unwilling participant. I know that I wouldn’t even be here if you had been in your right mind. So I implore you to do the right thing.”

Bruce shook his head and took a step closer to Damian. “Damian, no matter what happens tonight, you are  _ not _ going to die. Do you understand? I forbid it.”

Damian frowned.

Bruce took a step back. He was going to attempt to get more answers out of the masked man, but Tim spoke.

“Bruce,” he began. Bruce took a few steps closer. “I was just a replacement for Jason. You don’t need me anymore.”

Bruce seemed shocked at the words coming out of Tim’s mouth. Luckily, he wasn’t the only one who thought so.

“Baby bird,” Jason spoke. “That is so fucking stupid. You’re his son. He loves you. He’s not going to shoot you, no matter what you say.” Tim frowned. “But he should shoot me.”

Bruce’s eyes whipped over to Jason. “Jaylad, I can’t-”

“Yes. Yes, you can. Because if you let anyone else die, I will never forgive you,” Jason said. “If you get my brothers killed, I will never forgive you.”

“Jay, stop. I can’t, you know I can’t,” Bruce said.

“Bruce, goddammit!” Jason roared. “Kill me!”

Bruce shook his head and turned to Dick while Jason was still struggling to free himself fruitlessly.

Dick gave him a small smile. “We both know I’m the only real choice, B.”

Bruce shook his head. “I can’t. I can’t do this to any of you.”

“If you can’t muster up some balls, then you’re going to get all of us killed!” Jason shouted.

“The brutish one is quite correct,” the masked man interjected. “I will give you one final minute before the decision will be made for you.”

“Bruce,” Dick pleaded. “Think about this rationally. You  _ cannot _ kill Damian or Tim. We all agree on that. It just leaves me and Jay. Either of us would be happy to do this. Just please, please, dad, you need to pick, you can’t lose us all.”

“He’s right,” Jason agreed. “And you know it should be me. You know.”

“I-” Bruce was frozen in place. He couldn’t breathe. He was staring at the gun in his hands, imagining that he was choosing to shoot his parents. Imagining the horrific idea that he was going to have to shoot his sons.

“Bruce!” Tim shouted frantically. “Please, just pick! Just don’t let them kill Damian!”

“I have been revived before, it can happen again!” Damian argued.

Bruce looked up at Jason, gripping the gun with more purpose. Jason locked eyes with him and nodded.

But Bruce ran out of time. The red dots appeared and then- 

there was so much red.

  
  
  
  


Damian opened his eyes holding a gun. It was highly unusual. His brothers and father were bound in front of him.

“Chose,” the masked man spoke. “One of them must die. And if you cannot come to a choice, they will all die, and you will watch.”

Damian turned his sharp gaze to the man. “Tt. And what possible benefit would you get from any of this? If I am forced to kill anyone, I will find you and kill you, slowly. I will make it last years, of eternal torture. A true hell on Earth.”

The masked man had no reaction to Damian’s threats. “Make a choice before  _ I  _ make one.”

Damian inhaled a sharp breath. The direness of the situation was slowly beginning to seep into him.

“Think out loud,” the masked man prompted. “It’ll be better for my research.”

Damian gritted his teeth. He complied, only so that the man wouldn’t kill them all, and leave him all alone.

“Fine. I am trying to think through this logically. Who I could even consider killing, who is the least essential. Who-” Damian stopped for a moment. He locked eyes with Jason. The older man was a picture of calmness. He gave Damian a little nod as he approached. “Todd.”

“Damian.” Jason paused. “It’s okay.”

Damian shook his head. “It’s not okay.” He raised the gun. The rest of the family was protesting all around him, but he ignored them, even if Grayson’s pleading for his ‘Little Wing’ were breaking Damian’s heart. “I will bring you back.”

Jason nodded. “I know you will. But you have to promise me that if I come back any worse than last time, and if the madness doesn’t fade, you’ll do this again.”

Damian swallowed. “I… can accept that deal.” He took a breath. “I am sorry.”

“Really, kid,” Jason spoke, “everything is going to be fine. I promise.”

“I’m going to see this moment in my nightmares for the rest of my life,” Damian whispered. Only Jason could hear.

“Close your eyes,” Jason said.

Damian complied.

“Aim the gun a little higher.” He shifted his arm. “A little to your right.” He made the adjustment. “Perfect.”

“I  _ will _ bring you back,” Damian swore again.

“I know. Now, pull the trigger on your exhale.”

Damian sucked in a large breath and held for much longer than he needed to, knowing that when he released the breath, he was going to shoot Jason. But he had to breathe. He exhaled, and… he pulled the trigger.

  
  
  
  


Tim needed more time and more coffee to truly process what was going on. For some reason, he had a gun in his hand and everyone was tied up in front of him.

“Chose,” the masked man spoke. “One of them must die. And if you cannot come to a choice, they will all die, and you will watch.”

Tim frowned. “Well, that seems kind of dramatic, don’t you think,” he tried to come off as casual, but he was now tensed as if he was ready for a fight.

“I am not putting on this experiment for the drama, I am merely doing this for research.”

“Research into what?” Tim asked.

“Into family bonds. That is my job, after all,” the man spoke.

“Great, another psychopath with a Ph.D.,” Tim muttered. “How do I know that if I shoot someone, you’ll let everyone else go?”

The man looked at Tim quizzically. “I would not lie. I will stay true to my word.”

“Not comforting,” Tim said. “So why are you-”

“Timothy, you really must stop stalling,” the masked man spoke. “You’re on a time limit, after all.”

Tim’s eyes widened. He turned to look at his family. “What should I do?”

“Tim,” Bruce spoke first. “I want you to shoot me.”

Tim looked torn.

“No,” Jason spoke. “He can’t, Bruce. You don’t know what you’re asking of him. When we all thought you were dead, he realized that the rest of us weren’t going to be there for him. He had to go out and risk his life, alone, because we left him. So no, he’s not going to shoot you.”

Tim stared at Jason with a hint of shock and then glanced back to Bruce, who looked devastated. “Tim… please.”

“I- I can’t kill the only person who’s never abandoned me!” Tim cried. “But it’s worse because I know that choosing anyone else will still kill you.”

“Tim, this is all my fault,” Dick said. “I wasn’t there for you, I betrayed your trust, I took away Robin. I deserve it.”

“No-” Tim began.

“-you don’t,” Jason finished. “If we’re talking about what people deserve, we all know it comes down to me. I shouldn’t even be alive right now. And death is the least I deserve after all the lives I’ve taken, after everything I did to  _ you _ ,” Jason spoke softly. “I am the only choice, Tim. You know that. You’ve known that since he told you what you had to do.” Tim didn’t agree, but he didn’t disagree either.

“Jason, stop,” Bruce commanded, but Jason continued.

“Let’s think about this logically,” Jason proposed. “You can’t kill Bruce, we all understand that. You can’t kill Damian, again, makes sense. Dick has hurt you, yes, but you still love him. We all love him. Killing him would destroy this family, and you know that. So it’s just me. And that’s okay, really, it’s okay. I want you to shoot me, Tim. It’ll be quick, painless, and I’ll just slip off into a deep sleep, and that’s okay.”

Tim took a breath. “There’s another option.”

“Like what? Letting us all die? That’s pretty dark, don’t you think?” Jason asked with a smirk, though it was clear he was worried.

Dick shook his head. “No, Tim. Don’t. Not that. We need you, we  _ want _ you.”

“Your life isn’t worth throwing away,” Damian agreed.

Tim narrowed his eyes at Damian. “And Jason’s is?”

“That’s not what the kid is saying,” Jason said in defence of Damian.

“If I were in your shoes, I too would shoot Todd,” Damian said.

“And I would shoot myself, so we’re in agreement,” Jason said.

He and Damian shared a look of understanding.

“But- but that’s not fair, you’ve already died. And you still haven’t really gotten your second chance,” Tim said.

Jason smiled somewhat sadly. “I’m maybe the only person in the world who got a second chance.  _ That _ isn’t fair. I’m glad I got to meet you and Damian. I’m glad I got to see Bruce and Dick and Alfred again. That’s all I wanted from my second chance.”

Tim thought about that for a moment before tearfully taking a step toward Jason. “I’m sorry.”

“Tim,” Bruce spoke. His voice was not how it was supposed to sound. It was too broken. “Please. Please do not make me watch my son die.”

Tim looked at the ground and then back up at Bruce with tears in his eyes. “Don’t look.” Tim took another step toward Jason and pointed the gun at his head. “I’m sorry.”

Jason shook his head. “I’m not.”

“You have 30 seconds,” the masked man warned.

“I’ll see you all on the flip side,” Jason said in the same tone as someone who was saying goodnight knowing they would see their family the next day.

Tim shut his eyes and pulled the trigger.

  
  
  


Everyone woke up with a start. They were all bound to chairs via electronic cuffs and the masked man from all the visions they had just witnessed was standing in front of them.

“Well, that was truly excellent. That will help my research a great deal.” He pressed a button on a remote control device that released them. “You are free to-”

The sound of a gun firing had everyone flinching, prepared for their loved ones to die. Everyone except Jason, who had just shot the man in the head.

“Fuck you,” Jason cursed. He promptly left the warehouse while the others were still recovering.

“Jason!” Bruce called. He was about to chase after the young man, but Tim grabbed his arm.

“Don’t, B. I don’t blame him.  _ I _ wanted to shoot him after that,” Tim said.

Bruce let his shoulders relax somewhat.

“Well, I guess we don’t have to worry about our secret identities anymore,” Dick said, trying to see the bright side even though he was still visibly upset by what they had just seen.

“What happened?” Damian finally asked quietly.

Tim was examining the man’s gear. “He must be some sort of meta? He probably established some sort of mind-link and proposed scenarios to our brains. Like J’onn used to do for training the Titans.”

“It felt real,” Dick said. Damian went over to the older man and in a shocking display of emotion, hugged him. “Oh, Dami. That must have been awful. I’m so sorry.”

Bruce was staring at his hands. Tim looked at the man and frowned. “B? Are you… as okay as you can be, given the situation?”

“I’m sorry… I froze,” Bruce said quietly. “I got all of you killed.”

Dick then turned to hug Bruce, Damian joined in as well. Tim was observing at a distance until Dick’s hand shot out and beckoned him to join.

When the group hug ended, Bruce took a breath and tried to compose himself. “We need to speak about what happened, all of us, but that can wait for tomorrow. You all should go home and get some rest. I will wait for Gordon here and explain the situation.”

“You sure you don’t want me to stay with you?” Tim asked.

Bruce smiled reassuringly at Tim. “I’m sure, Tim. You go home, get some rest.”

…

The next day, Jason had agreed to come to the cave in the evening to debrief about what had happened the night before. He pulled in on his motorcycle and pulled off his helmet to see that the rest of the family was waiting for him.

“Hey Jay,” Dick said with a partial smile on his face. “Alfred made cookies for us while we talk about it.”

Jason grinned a little at that. “Well, that’ll help.”

“Agreed,” Tim said with a mouthful of cookie.

“B, do you want to start, or…?” Dick began.

“Yes,” Bruce said. “I want to make it very clear to everyone right now that I firmly believe Richard is the only one who made the right choice. That should have been what each and every one of you should have done. If we ever encounter a situation like that again. I need you all to know that I need you to choose me. You are my children and I am supposed to protect you, I am  _ supposed _ to die before you. Any other outcome is unacceptable.”

Jason had to suppress the urge to roll his eyes. “Well, that’s bullshit,” he said bluntly. “First, I mean maybe if we were ordinary people. Any ordinary family, I’d give you that, B. But we aren’t. It’s not just about you, Bruce. There are people in this city that would die and suffer and hurt without Batman. We were a fucking disaster the last time you left, and to be honest, I can’t imagine that would change any time soon.”

“I agree with Jason,” Tim said quietly.

“Thanks, and second, I meant every word I said. Me and Tim and Damian,  _ we _ all made the right choice. I won’t say it all again, but I did mean it and that’s what I need you all to know.” Jason looked Bruce dead in the eyes. “Any other outcome is unacceptable.”

“Don’t say that,” Bruce grit out. “I love you. The last time I lost you I-”

“Yeah, but this wouldn’t be like last time, for three key reasons,” Jason interrupted. “First, you have a much better support system now. Dick is back home. You have Tim, Damian, Cass, even Steph and Duke, not to mention Alfred and the Justice League. You wouldn’t be alone, they would help you get through it.”

“That’s not-”

“Second,” Jason carried on, ignoring Bruce. “As I said to Tim. I’ve had my second chance, and in general, do I have some regrets? Yes. I regret shooting Damian and trying to kill Tim. I regret emotionally tormenting you in an attempt to make myself feel better. But I don’t regret getting a little more time with you, that’s all I wanted and I got it. So I’m good. I didn't need anything else.”

“But I need-”

“Third, I’m not afraid to die. Not at all. A death like that, painless, to the point, for a good reason? That’s more than enough for me. I’ve been dead, and it felt like a nice nap. I don’t mind the idea of going back to that.”

“Jaylad-”

“So in conclusion,” Jason spoke. “Not only am I the best choice, but I am also the only choice. And I’m proud of Tim and Damian for being able to see that, for not throwing their own lives away, and for not making a decision that would effectively be the ruin of Gotham.”

Bruce was near tears as he shook his head. “I don’t know why you think so little of yourself, Jason. You’re a massive part of keeping Gotham safe. You… you help people in a way I might not ever fully understand, but I can’t deny that you are protecting them. And I can’t deny that whenever you leave, and we cover your territory, we do a worse job because they don’t trust us like they trust you.”

“They like Tim and Damian, they just don’t like you,” Jason rebutted. “Listen, B, I get that you can’t accept my choice, I understand. But you don’t need to accept it, you just need to understand it. Because if that ever,  _ ever _ happens again, and you choose to let all of us die, I will come back from the grave and haunt you.” Jason’s eyes were slightly greener than they were before.

Bruce backed down and the table fell into silence. “Why is no one acting like I’m the big brother?” Dick asked quietly. “You’re my  _ little brothers _ . I’m supposed to protect you. I get not killing B, I guess, but the idea that I don’t die first is… I can’t bear to think about that.”

“Do I need to go through all my points again?” Jason asked incredulously.

“No, no, I… get your argument, I guess. I don’t like it either, but I understand. This is just… emotional.” Dick then turned to Damian. “And Dami… what you said about Bruce and Talia… you can’t possibly think that any of us, let alone Bruce, blames you at all for that.”

Damian looked down. “I know I wasn’t exactly wanted. I wasn’t implying that I think I am not wanted, I was simply… trying to do the same as you, Grayson.” Damian swallowed. “I didn’t want to see anyone die either.”

“Damian…” Bruce breathed. “Don’t ever doubt that we all want you. And that we all love you.”

Damian seemed supremely uncomfortable, so he examined his father. He saw dark bags under his bloodshot eyes, his drooping eyelids, his general demeanour and posture.

“When was the last time you slept, Father?” Damian asked.

Bruce frowned. “It’s been… a few days.”

“Holy hypocrite Batman,” Dick said. “You need to get some rest, B.”

Bruce shook his head. “If I fall asleep, this is going to be the dream, and- and that’s going to be real,” he choked out.

Tim and Dick shared a concerned look. They both stood.

“Come on, we’ll all go to sleep together, B. I promise, this isn’t a dream, this is real life,” Tim said.

Dick tried to help Bruce stand, but when the man swayed, Jason had to jump up and help so that Dick didn’t end up on the floor with Bruce on top of him.

“Come on Dami, we’re all sleeping in B’s bed tonight,” Dick said.

Damian huffed but didn’t protest. Jason helped Bruce up into the bed, then he went to the closet to steal some pyjamas for himself so he didn’t have to sleep in jeans.

Dick had started Moana on the TV and everyone was cuddled around Bruce. One by one they fell asleep until Jason and Damian were the last ones. Damian was in between Jason and Bruce.

Damian looked up at him and yawned slightly. “I’m sorry for shooting you.”

“Don’t be,” Jason said. “I just want to keep everyone safe, no matter what.”

Damian curled up in Jason’s side, resting his head on Jason’s ribcage. Jason closed his eyes and let sleep take him.

  
  
  


Bruce opened his eyes and knew something was wrong right away...

There were people in his bed. He cracked open his eyes and saw that everyone was there. They were okay. His sons were okay, his sons were alive. Dick was splayed out on his left side, and he could feel Damian’s back against his right side. Damian was curled up on Jason, and so was Tim.

Bruce sighed deeply with relief.

“We’re okay, B. I told you it wasn’t a dream,” Dick murmured.

Bruce smiled lightly. “Thank you, Dick.” He squeezed his eldest son closer. “I love you, all of you.”

“We love you too.”

Bruce drifted back to a peaceful sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I would love to hear what you all think about this!


End file.
